Math Class and Earth Life

 

 

        Sometimes you just don't recognize a blessing. My inability to understand math has always felt like a ball-and-chain of monumental proportion that I have drug around all my life. But at 56 years old, I was finally tested for a learning disability. Diagnosed as such, gave me the tremendous opportunity to take Learning Disabled Math 42 class and what a joy it has been to finally see my mind slowly unlock the concepts that have seemingly ever eluded me. That in and of itself is a great blessing but the classroom has also brought spiritual insights that I would like to share here.

       To me the class feels like a microcosm of earthlife for a number of reasons. To begin with, each person in there has a common condition; we all struggle with math. However, the reasons for the disabilities are as varied as you could imagine--blindness, damage from a brain tumor, memory problems, ADHD, austism, processing disorders and the list goes on.

        Each person who comes to earth also has a common condition...our" human-ness" and each of us has our own set of "disabilities." We might struggle with physical things like overeating, a word of wisdom problem, an addiction, etc. We might struggle to have faith in Christ, or pray, or believe in the words of the prophet.

        But our teachers know from their years of teaching experience that we can overcome our math problems even though its seems next to impossible to us. They are always positive and encouraging. When you make an error, they never belittle you or make you feel stupid in front of your peers. They say "You've made an error in your calculation. Let's see where you made that mistake." They watch you till you find it on your own and then praise your effort. They encourage us constantly to come to them for outside help.They accommodate certain needs such as magnifying machine for the blind lady.

         Spiritually speaking, the God knows that we can overcome the world thru Christ even though it seems so impossible to us. God loves us and the scriptures attest to the fact that he has his arm extended to us which shows his ongoing love and encouragement. When we make a mistake, he does not belittle us or make us feel stupid in front of our peers. He corrects us privately as needed and watches over us. God constantly pleads for us "to come unto to Him" for extra help.Though we are all human and need to learn, God teaches us on a very personal level accommodating life's lessons in a way that we can understand.

          The feeling in the class is one of unusual unity because truly, no one is any better than another. There isn't a feeling of competiveness in there and we are all genuinely happy when someone is successful at mastering a new concept. We all work hard to learn and we all have opportunities to help someone else who hasn't yet mastered a concept we understand. Ideally, families and ward families do the same as they are hopefully unified by love and seek to help and support each other.

           I wish that every class could be run like this. It makes for such a pleasant learning environment to work at your own pace, to be required to learn a concept before moving on and to help one another. It really does help you learn the concept better if you have to explain it to someone. Not everyone will make it to pre-algebra next semester, but everyone will see improvement. And isn't that what earthlife is all about? Improving and coming to know Christ?

             Some students require a notetaker because they aren't able to take their own lecture notes for one reason or another. The notetaker is by their side in every class. Put simply, they would not be successful in school without a notetaker.

              In a spiritual realm, we all require a "notetaker." We aren't able to be successful in earthlife without Jesus Christ at our side at all times. We might think we can do it without him but we are mistaken if we think that we can redeem ourselves. We need his grace. 

              This is why I feel so blessed by taking this class. It helps me to see others more as Christ does; imperfect individuals trying to do their best with their particular set of challenges.  It helps me see "a better, more gentle way" to parent. It helps me to better understand how the Lord corrects my path and teaches me. It helps me better recognize why I can't do math or anything without my Savior. And, oh, yeah, along with all of that, I'm actually learning math! 

When You're Outside Looking In

I can't wait to get the November Ensign so I can study the General Conference messages. I find so many answers and helps to my problems and today I wish to share how a simple story has helped me.
The story was told by Elder Ulisses Soares and is about a brother in South Africa by the name of Moses Mahlangu. I quote Elder Soares:

"One of the most beautiful modern-day examples of meekness that I am aware of is that of Brother Moses Mahlangu. His conversion began in 1964, when he received a copy of the Book of Mormon. He was fascinated as he read this book, but it was not until the early '70s that he saw an LDS Church sign on a building in Johannesburg, South Africa, as he was walking down a street. Brother Mahlangu was intrigued and entered the building to learn more about the Church. He was kindly told that he could not attend the services or be baptized because the country's laws did not allow it at that time.
Brother Mahlangu accepted that decision with meekness, humility, and without resentment, but he continued to have a strong desire to learn more about the Church. He asked the Church leaders if they could leave one of the meetinghouse windows open during the Sunday meetings so he could sit outside and listen to the services. For several years, Brother Mahlangu's family and friends attended church regularly "through the window." One day in 1980 they were told that they could attend church and also be baptized. What a glorious day it was for Brother Mahlangu. Later the Church organized a branch in his neighborhood in Soweto. This was possible only because of the determination, courage, and faithfulness of people like Brother Mahlangu who remained faithful for so many years under difficult circumstances."

I loved this story and saw immediate application to one of my personal struggles. We moved to Carlsbad almost a year ago. We love it here for many reasons but one thing that has remained challenging is making friends in our ward. Many ward members have family that live in the ward or they established businesses locally and have raised their families here over many years. I would not describe the ward as unfriendly to new people but they do enjoy their established relationships. I often feel "outside, looking in" as did Brother Mahlangu. But unlike him, I have wrestled with feelings of resentment, frustration, jealousy and impatience. I've prayed about my problem but so far, little has changed. As I read this story, my soul seemed lightened over this concern. Perhaps, the changes I pray for aren't the ones the Lord wants for me right now. Maybe his desire is to help me learn meekness, patience and greater faith. Maybe he is using this challenge to improve my spiritual character and help me come to know my loving Savior more, as my friend. While I'm busily focused on my feeling of being "outside" he is, as always, focused on improving "my inside."

I'm so thankful for the inspired words of General Conference and for how, almost magically, the Holy Ghost is able to "tutor my soul with understanding" with the words I most need to hear.

The order of operations and an insight

I finished the unit on multiplying and dividing with decimals and I was ready to tackle the order of operations. This was a new concept to me and at first it seemed easy enough. Yeah...(6+3)-3...simple. But it rapidly got tougher 12{3+4) +[7(14-8)-3]} and I was completely confused. My teacher worked with me some until a fellow classmate enthusiastically took over. She seemed to have a sound understanding of the concept and she really helped me. But I couldn't help but wonder how that happened because only two days earlier the teacher had given her flashcards to help her memorize multiplication facts. So I asked her the obvious question," If you don't know your multiplication facts, how is that you know how to do order of operations?" She explained that while she has never been able to memorize multiplication facts she does understand logic so she could easily understand order of operations. I've reflected on this experience many times over the last few days.

We each have God given talents. No one talent is more superior than another and no one person embodies all the gifts of God. We each have something to share with another and talents are specifically given so we might bless the lives of others. There are a myriad of ways to use them. This week I watched a fun little video of a missionary beat boxing at a Farmer's Market in Oregon. A very unique approach to attract some attention but it certainly did and who knows? Maybe someone will be more open to listening to their message because of it.

 The hard part is recognizing the fact that no matter who it is that crosses our path they have something that can bless our life. The person who is younger or less experienced than we, the less educated, the less affluent, the disabled or the sick....whoever it is, they can help us learn and progress if we are humble enough to see and benefit from their gift from God.

It is through using our talents, that we gain more. In the parable of the talents the following is written:
          
For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.
And unto one he gave five talents to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.
Then he that had received the five talents went and "traded" with the same, and made them other five talents.

Note the interesting choice of word, traded. That implies a giving as well as a taking of goods. Note that by giving the servant ends up with more, not less. It is the same for us. When we exchange our gifts, we come back better fit for his kingdom than we were.

Right now, I feel fortunate to be in a math class where every student needs help and where it is expected that if you understand a concept, you will help someone else find success. Were that same expectation was to all the world, what a different world this would be...oh, wait! Isn't that exactly what Christ has invited us to do, use our gifts and feed his sheep?

A scorpion and "gray areas"

 

In the October General Conference of 2010, Elder Patrick Kearon of the Seventy shared the following:

 

 As a seven-year-old boy living in the Arabian Peninsula, I was consistently told by my parents to always wear my shoes, and I understood why. I knew that shoes would protect my feet against the many threats to be found in the desert, such as snakes, scorpions, and thorns. One morning after a night’s camping in the desert, I wanted to go exploring, but I did not want to bother with putting on my shoes. I rationalized that I was only going for a little wander and I would stay close by the camp. So instead of shoes, I wore flip-flops. I told myself that flip-flops were shoes—of a sort. And anyway, what could possibly happen?

As I walked along the cool sand—in my flip-flops—I felt something like a thorn going into the arch of my foot. I looked down and saw not a thorn but a scorpion. As my mind registered the scorpion and I realized what had just happened, the pain of the sting began to rise from my foot and up my leg. I grabbed the top of my leg to try and stop the searing pain from moving farther, and I cried out for help. My parents came running from the camp.

As my father battered the scorpion with a shovel, an adult friend who was camping with us heroically tried to suck the venom from my foot. At this moment I thought that I was going to die. I sobbed while my parents loaded me into a car and set off across the desert at high speed toward the nearest hospital, which was over two hours away. The pain all through my leg was excruciating, and for that entire journey, I assumed that I was dying.

When we finally reached the hospital, however, the doctor was able to assure us that only small infants and the severely malnourished are threatened by the sting of that type of scorpion. He administered an anesthetic, which numbed my leg and took away any sensation of pain. Within 24 hours I no longer had any effects from the sting of the scorpion. But I had learned a powerful lesson.

I had known that when my parents told me to wear shoes, they did not mean flip-flops; I was old enough to know that flip-flops did not provide the same protection as a pair of shoes. But that morning in the desert, I disregarded what I knew to be right. I ignored what my parents had repeatedly taught me. I had been both lazy and a little rebellious, and I paid a price for it.

 

This story has been on my mind since Sunday when my 2-year-old grandson, Ben, was stung by a scorpion. Now obviously there are some big differences between the two events. Ben saw the scorpion on a post and was pointing this out to his mother. When she said, "No, no don't touch it", he stopped.( It was certainly not a deliberate act of disobedience that brought the sting and even if it been...well, he's only two for goodness sake!!) Nevertheless, I see an interesting lesson in this experience for those of us who are old enough to be accountable for our decisions.

While Ben didn't touch the scorpion, his finger was within the scorpion's strike zone. I'd like to compare that to the gray areas of life. We recognize those gray areas...those things that we do and then try to rationalize or marginalize away. We know that living in the gray area doesn't provide the same protection as being exact in our obedience but like Elder Kearns once did; we often minimize what could happen. What we forget is where the gray area falls. It is within the strike zone. It is where Satan patiently waits for his next victim. The sting may produce localized pain as in Elder Kearn's experience or the venom may produce life-threatening conditions.  Either way, the consequences are severe and possibly dire. How much better to stay on the straight and narrow path than allow our foolishness or rebelliousness to lead us into gray areas.

McPie!

Today was so fun! Sweet granddaughter McKell had finished reading a book entitled Pie. Included in the story were recipes for pies. She had told me about the book and even loaned it to me to read. When I asked her if she had a favorite pie recipe that she would like to make, she quickly replied, "Yeah, Peanut Butter Raspberry Cream pie!" I promised her that she could come over and we'd make it together and that's what we did today.
As we were baking, Grandpa came by to check on our progress and he nicknamed our little pie maker, McPie...hence the name for the post. She did a great job making the crust and the 3 distinct layers of a peanut butter mixture, pudding and berries and then topped it off with whipped cream. It looked delicious!

McPie's masterpiece!!

All About Patterns and Strategies

I’ve been playing a brain game on lumosity.com called Route of Sprout. The object of the game is to move a seed along a path to a planting hole. Bugs on the path must be moved out of the way before the seed can be moved and all this has to be done in a set number of moves. The position and number of bugs change with each game as well as the style of the pathway. When I first started to play this game, I  started by moving the bugs out of the way hoping I had enough moves left to get the seed to the planting hole but I almost always ran out of moves before reaching the goal. Initially, I didn’t understand the strategy but as I continued to practice the game I began to see a pattern emerge. I learned that the shortest route was not necessarily the best route. The best route was always the one with the fewest bugs. Once I saw the pattern, I could find the optimal route every time and solve it quickly as well.

 As I mastered this pattern, I saw similarities to another pattern in life. Let’s say for an example, keeping the commandments. The best route back to our Heavenly Father is not necessarily the short easy route. The best route is the one he lays out for us to follow because there are fewer “bugs” in the road. We are certainly free to try other routes but if we spend our days trying to do it our way, we simply won’t find the optimal route with the fewest bugs. Additionally, doing it our way creates the risk of becoming trapped by the bugs unable to find a way out. We sometimes don’t understand the reasons for a particular commandment, in other words we don’t see the pattern, but even if we don’t initially understand, we will eventually come to see the strategy behind it if we persist in living the commandment anyway. I’m grateful the Lord is patient with us. Like the game that I can reset so I can keep practicing and improving, repentance allows us to start again as often as needed in order to recognize and learn the Lord’s patterns and strategies for living them.     

Faith to Hasten the Work

 

Yesterday a missionary broadcast from the Marriott Center in Provo was aired for church leaders and interested members. Of course, I was most intent on finding my missionary son who sang in that huge MTC choir but I was also profoundly spiritually fed. I choked up as I looked upon those bright and beautiful young sisters and Elders. To me they seemed to radiate joy, intelligence and faith. God must be so pleased to have such a fine army of young people to teach His children. To all those young people who heard the prophet's call last October and set aside other compelling interests; to all those who, with child-like faith, believe that the Lord will open windows of opportunity to hasten his work, I thank you. Thanks for setting a wonderful example for your parents and for any naysayers who may question as to whether there will be enough work for 72,000 plus missionaries. Thanks for having unwavering faith and eyes to see the vision of the Lord's plan for our day. You've set the standard and now the rest of us will have to catch up and do our part by inviting our non-member friends. I know I felt the Spirit... and today, I called my friend!
 


Musings about Focus and Concentration--a fruit of Self-Discipline

I had an interesting conversation with a woman that I visit teach. She has a 21 year old daughter who attends NYU. Her mother told me that is she very talented and accomplished; she was an AP student and leader at her high school and is a professional ballerina. At NYU she continues her outstanding ways and will graduate in just three years instead of the usual four. But then her mother said, "She seemed to understand at a very young age, the importance of self-discipline. She has always had an incredible ability to focus and concentrate on what she wants to do." My thought was, "What a great gift!" But the next day I read something that seemingly refuted my conclusion that her ability was a gift. I read, "Discipline is the secret of concentration. Concentration is an acquired skill and like most good things in life, you have to work for it.  To concentrate is to choose." A choice? I hadn't thought of it like that.

So many days my mind is unfocused, distracted or swept about by my emotions or worries. Sometimes I am unfocused because I am attempting to do too many things at one time, sort of like attempting to chase multiple rabbits and catching none of them. Sometimes I lose focus because the scope of the task seems so big or daunting that I start to fear and doubt that I can do it. At other times, I believe that because of my not-as-sharp memory or math challenges,  I am not able to focus and learn. I even find that strong emotions or worries can usurp my ability to stay focused on the matter at hand.So to understand that the ability to focus and concentrate is a choice seems especially significant to me.

It means in the most practical of terms, that I need to turn to the Lord more often for help to prioritize so I can focus my energy to what is most important. It means that I should learn from the life of the apostle Peter when he looked down to gaze at the great expanse of water and waves that surrounded him instead of focusing his sights on the Savior who has power to still fear and doubt. It means trusting in His ability to make me equal to the task and also believing that, in spite of human frailties, I can improve with focus and hard work. It also means a willingness to lay my burdens at his feet and placing my faith and trust in Him, no matter what, so I can be happy and peaceful and actually focus on that which I do have control over.  This isn't always easy to do but it seems like an important thing to learn...at least for me.

The Sista's Reunion!

I love my sisters! After years of only talking about it, we finally committed to having a sister's reunion at my place...otherwise known as Rancho Relaxo. We had so much fun; in fact, way too much fun because nobody wanted to go back to their normal life. :) Here are some fun pics of us doin' our thing!



Four people in a two person golf cart....yeah....should have seen us squeeze 3 in the front!

Dad and his daughters



La Jolla Caves, doesn't get much prettier than this!



Arms UP! Ask Sandi what that is all about!



Love you Dad! So glad you joined us.

 

The only sister who couldn't make it this time was our sister-in-law, Annette. We love her and missed her but she was on a family camping trip with their son, Andrew, before he reported to the MTC on Wednesday. But next year, okay, Annette?

Of course, there isn't any possible way we can fit one more body in that golf cart.....:)



Inviting the Savior

            Saturday was our Stake Women’s Conference and the theme was “Forget Not.” Kathy Clayton, wife of L. Whitney Clayton was the keynote speaker. Something that I especially enjoyed from her talk was the idea that we need to invite the Savior out of the “guest room” and into the details of our life…even the messiest details. After all, it isn’t like we prevent him from knowing about the challenges we have by keeping him at a distance. He already knows everything about us. But if we choose to let him in then we enable him to do what he really wants to do; help us! It isn’t a sign of weakness to accept help from our divine benefactor but it is certainly a sign of our faith in Him.

Grandma and the boys

I got to care for my two darling grandsons, Parker and Ben, this past week while Mark and Christy took a trip to Chicago. It is always a lot of work taking care of pre-schoolers but it is also a lot of fun. This was the first time they got to stay at Grandma and Grandpa's house (unlike Evaly's children who get that experience more often because they live close by.) It was busy to have 4 year old Parker and 18 month old Ben. They are rough and tumble little boys who loved the outside, balls, sand/dirt, cars, trips to the park to feed the ducks, and Cars, the movie. We hit the zoo, Chuck E. Cheese, Pretend City and played with some of my friend's daycare children. We played games, blew bubbles, sang songs, wrestled, learned to put on shoes, did puzzles, drew pictures, ate homemade cookies, watched cartoons and went to infinity and beyond with Buzz! Bet my week was more exciting than yours....:)

Do Mom's ever retire?

So a question for you dear readers; do Mom's ever retire? It's a question I've wondered about. When you've been employed outside of the home and finally retire; you don't go to the office anymore, you no longer work with fellow employees nor complain about the boss plus you don't get that paycheck anymore....but what if you still go to the "office" because the work surrounds you, the employees have moved on to new jobs but the boss is in his place and you still don't get paid?? Well, welcome to my new life of retirement!
It's been a little strange having such a quiet house. But Ken and I are finding some wonderful new freedoms like we can eat anything we want without the kids getting to it first. We can wander around the house half dressed which has come in especially handy lately since our air conditioning has been out of commission. We have two cars and just two drivers. We can plan our days without consideration to the school day or homework. It takes days before I have to use the dishwasher and a couple weeks before we have to take out the trash cans to the curb. Things don't get dirty as fast. In short, its been nice. I've been pleasantly surprised.
I still have plenty to keep me busy. Been working on our upcoming Primary Program on September 30th. I'm really excited about our program because Phil who just turned 12 is going to accompany 8 year old Olivia in a solo. And 9 year Drew will play the clarinet with the Primary children when they sing Stand For The Right. I'm excited for the Primary children to have the opportunity to participate using their talents. I've had some friends move away so I've been trying to help them pack and also visit a friend who's been in the hospital. I've also been enjoying a book called "Good to Be Alive" by Jack Rushton. He is a former Stake President who, 21 years ago, hit his head against a submerged rock in a body surfing accident which left him a quadriplegic. His humor, perspective and insights from a "chair" has made me laugh, cry and given me strength to tackle my own challenges. Brother Rushton and his wife JoAnn attend the Newport Beach Temple regularly and sometimes we end up in the same temple session. I love watching JoAnn minister to him. She is so loving...and it must be so exhausting and incredibly demanding to meet his many needs.
We get to care for Mark and Christy's boys next week while they take a fun trip to Chicago. I am excited to see Parker and Ben and get to take them to fun places. I hope we'll create some good memories and they'll get to know us a little better. Being a grandma is fun and I'm grateful that we live close enough to Evaly and Nathan to see their kiddos often.
Cami and Adam and Brent are working/going to school in Utah and are happy and well. We'll be going to visit them in October and are looking forward to that.
Life is good....even "retired!"

Lasts...

I have had children in my home for 30 years! I've had children for longer than I lived without children. They have been a huge part of my life! And so it is, that Brent's senior year is a year of lasts, if you will. Saturday was the last Placentia Parade I will have a child march in. That night he went to his Homecoming Dance, the last time I will take pictures of a excited group going to Homecoming. I have mixed feelings about all of this---some relief, some longing for things they way they've been, some excitment to finally have time to do different things. For all of you dealing with the day to day challenges of raising children, try to imagine the day it will all be done because one day, it will be and you'll recognize what a special time it was! I'm sure grateful I was able to be called MOM.

Such a inspirational and touching interview!

I so enjoyed this interview...I especially enjoyed her final comments.

The Day I Became a Mother

Happy __ Birthday daughter Evaly! What joy you brought the day I became your Mom!

Bridal Shower

On Saturday some California friends threw a bridal shower for Cami. It was so fun to celebrate her upcoming wedding! It's getting so close. I only took a few video clips since Evaly was taking photos. Here are a couple of video clips.

A video for Kylie!

Ken gave me this cool video camera for my birthday and I've been experimenting with it to learn how to use and how to upload onto youtube so I can post videos on my blog (which you can obviously see.) But what you don't know was that the very first video I posted was Kylie on a tire swing. I decided to remove it in favor of the other videos I posted but Kylie saw herself in that first video and is wondering where it went. So, this one is just for you sweet Kylie!

Cute as ever!

Fun Day at the Park

I'm posting these videos for my grandchildren...we had fun, didn't we?

Wedding Preparations!

I'm so excited for Cami's wedding but having said that, it is always such a busy time....so many preparations. But the one that really has me worried is fitting in the dress I'm supposed to wear! I would love to say my weight is relatively stable and generally varies by only one or two pounds but I would be lying if I said that! So in addition to all the other normal wedding preparations, I am also having to work on losing weight. Ugh! Of course, I need to do that for reasons other than the wedding so, thank you, Cami and Adam, for the additional kick in the pants to get to it!


THE GOAL....THE NEXT TIME YOU SEE THIS DRESS ON MY BLOG, I'M WEARING IT (OR I'M AT LEAST WEARING IT BY THE WEDDING!! :)